Learning needs to be fun :)

So many times I see parents struggle to ‘get’ their child to do what they want, and in such a forced expectation that the child feels pressured and upset. No one wants to force their child or make them do what they want against the wishes of their child. There is an easier way, I understand that many parents believe that ‘making’ their child do something they want them to do is hard, and if you believe that, you are right. But if you believe that I am right, you are right.

Basics of learning is that it must be fun. Yes, it is as easy as that, so simple. Engage your child in a positive, light touch way, understanding it has to be no pressure and all fun. Because children are born to have fun and discover with you showing them in fun ways, not in a teachy-parent type way, in a lightweight fun way that you become for a short time a child playing with your child.

The more we divide parent and child learning, the harder you make your job as a parent, life is actually meant to be fun, adventurous, daring, discovering, learning and so much more than working and paying bills, it is about enjoying life, and it starts from the early years and beyond. You expect your child to ‘naturally do what they are meant to do’ is an illusion fixed by academia and discipline, (discipline is a whole other level of dysfunction), best way for your children to ‘behave’ ‘do as they’re told’ etc. is to allow them to comply and join in the correct way.

In learning how to communicate with children you will find that for example, when you say, “you should do that” their brain will immediately repel because children don’t know what they want they have only a brain that accepts instruction, not using insults or persuasion. If you say “I want you to: “ they will immediately take to the task. Yes, it is that easy, if you believe it is, that is the magic.

There have been occasions that friends’ children are baffled how I manage to ‘make’ their child do something that they always struggle to ‘get’ their child to do. It is simple, it has to be a clear and informal, positive light instruction. Most of all it it has to be said in fun (not forced / over-trying) it must be a ‘join me doing this because it is fun’ they may not enjoy something straight away but we all like to try before we buy and children are no different. Pretend you are selling a nice experience and you have no timescale for the activity it just needs to be in their own time. You will be amazed! I promise you this works and it can be so helpful. Sometimes parents set their expectations high that it is hard, it is as hard as you make it.

When I look after children I am often told “she/he never usually does that when I ask them” and yet they never ask me how I do it, and often say that their child does “not usually do what they’re told because [fill in the blank]” and they are right, but if they believe their child grows up and easily learns and progresses by following instruction, they would be right too. Parents see their baby grow and grow and for their own self they often try to keep their child as a child but what is forgotten is that we are all children and we all need to play and learn. We were all teeny babies once and therefore we are all children, adulthood is just that we are able to make our own decisions for ourselves, childhood is that we have to follow instructions and believe what we are told about ourselves and the world.