Gracie's Gracefulness *celebrating characteristics

There is something to be said about a child who is enabled to understand touch and gentleness. Very often in my experience babies have such a tight grip in their hands and this means that they find it difficult to engage with control not grip. And this is like everything else a repetitive instruction and as I always find with all children is that they only wish to please and not upset. They become upset themselves if they upset someone so it is best to use the good technique here of positive affirmation, it is a good way for you and parents to engage with their child better.

First of all gracefulness in my view in children is about understanding others, as I expressed in Mirrors and the Mirror Stage children at young age only see others as being part of them and expecting everyone to know how they are or understand them, that is often why many people describe this stage as ‘the terrible twos’ which is very misleading and a big misinterpretation.

We all have manners and the value in communicating in a positive way is vital, so this is a necessary thing we have to teach the young ones, it is vital for their integration into society and acceptance. Part of that is having a genteel sense of respectfulness and positivity. We demonstrate that by doing just the same to children of all ages, and ones we don’t see much of or children somehow interacting with us with their parents guidance just respecting them and a welcoming which is always reciprocated by us allowing the child to show their gracefulness to us.

Most children look up in awe at adults, yet some children are always looking down ‘knowing their place’ which is so so sad.

KEYS to Gracefulness

1. I learned from Gracie that the main vital first point before vocal interaction is to have EYE CONTACT

2. Gracie taught me that once eye contact is engaged that you acknowledge them by name before speaking because children as I explained are still processing their separation from others and mother. Sometimes you may have to say their name to ask for eye contact but other than that the eye contact first is crucial.

3. When speaking always maintain eye contact unless pointing to something look in that direction and then back at child.

4. Often a comforting gesture is required in most cultures whatever that may be use it with the child and you will find after a while they actually do that as a learned behaviour.

5. Remember that however you behave your child will follow, show them gentleness and always take great care of your manners, they learn from you whether you are Mum and Dad or Uncle or Auntie they are learning from you. Children are like mirrors, they watch and copy.

Finally, always show positive affirmations as above and the main source of “(name) you are a good girl/boy you don’t do that” whenever they show a behaviour that is unsatisfactory and demonstrate “(name) you usually behave nicely by (best behaviour eg. you always say “thank You”) please say how you say it” and do not say any negative instructions such as “you’re always causing trouble/saying this/doing that/you’re never doing anything right” it is vital to understand that no matter how ‘groundhog day’ it is you have to repeat yourself, and I promise if you do this positively and repetitively you will get the results you put into child.

Thank you Gracie!